Article Dan speed blogs

Short sharp shocks to the world 
Tags


Filed under

advertising

 
April 15, 2009

Lacey underwear replaced by laces

This is a billboard ad on my street. What would you say it was trying to sell?

Yes, that's right: work boots. This lady is getting all sexy about her hard-wearing work boots.
 
I'm thinking those boots may be a little tight on her though. Her face seems a little contorted. Certainly they're awfully warming: she's had to ditch her overalls...
 
Either way, those are clearly the boots every girl wants. I'm off to Homebase for my girlfriend's birthday pressie.
 
Keep th' faith.
Dan

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   Advertising  

Comments [0]

March 14, 2009

Mutton dressed as bunny

Dear gawd. The cadbury's caramel bunny is back. And apparently she's 'still got it'.

Sure, if 'it' is myxomatosis. This is just nasty. As if they thought updating the sexy on this outdated rabbit titbit required some ghastly blend of Bugs bunny in drag and Christina Aguillerra.
 
Makes the prospect of caramel as appealing as a candlelit enema with Gillian McKeith.
 
Keep th' faith.
Dan
 
Sent from my iPhone

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   Advertising   Cadbury's rabbit   Humour  

Comments [0]

July 30, 2008

Hedkandi girls getting to be as thin as the musical oeuvre they represent

Surely things have gone awry at Hedkandi Heights? The girls are getting terrifyingly thin - even by geek-boy comics/designer standards. The artist clearly has developed an ink anorexia:



I mean, look at this poor chickerature of a woman. E, K, Coke, Redbull and Kerosene - forget it! There's no way on earth this girl could sustain a serious evening's relationship with a dancefloor without keeling over and shattering into a thousand splinters. Swimming? Granted, perhaps she'd be ok; she's got the flippers and would likely cut through the water like a marlin, but any real world landlubber physical stuff...? I'm thinking Newton's Laws and I'm thinking no.

Was it ever thus? Has Hedkandi always been touting the famine chic? I guess so. But, ok - these ladies look skinny, but, the swimwear lady above really puts the bulimia in unbelievable.


It's gone from being eye-catching to stomach-turning. 

Look, I'm not saying this is what we're after:

Beth Ditto (Gossip)

That ain't selling me a lot of records either. But, you know...? Middle ground, people. Middle ground can be found.

Keep th' faith,
Dan

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   Advertising   Humour   Marketing   music  

Comments [2]

July 28, 2008

Physical enhancement spam - going to fatal lengths?

So, here's a recent piece of spam:

Touch her heart with your new babymaker.

Now, at first I was a little surprised by the, oh I don't know, sensitivity? of this ad for penis enlargement. I mean - read it, it's quite New Man really: Touch her heart with your new babymaker. You're going to come together in a joyful, romantic union to commit to that most precious of acts to create a new life.

Awwwww…

But then, reading again: Touch her heart with your new babymaker.

How fucking LONG are you making this thing that you can actually touch her heart with it!? And surely that's a fatal action? Let alone the actual lightly deadly act of prodding at a woman's heart with a ludicrously long love stick while shagging, but the amount of vital organs that must have been battered and pushed aside in the process of said behemoth babymaker making its way up there!

God, it's too horrible to consider. Don't even go there. (In so many ways!)

I apologise and leave you with cute floaty otters holding hands to take your mind off all things awful

Keep th' faith,
Dan

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   Advertising   Bad taste - don't read this   Bizarre   Cute otters   Humour   Marketing   Spam  

Comments [1]

July 9, 2008

Family Guy guy gears up to monetise t'internet

So Seth MacFarlane has found a way to make money through releasing shortform content 'free', by partnering with google and ad companies. See http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/30/business/30google.html?_r=2&oref=slogin
 
Could be genius - especially seeing as how Family Guy fans are nuts for the show (although were people so nuts for American Dad?). Is this how Stewie finally realises his plans for world domination? Watch this webspace...

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   Advertising   Family Guy   internet   Marketing   monetize  

Comments [0]